my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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