No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
