i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
