just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
