No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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