I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We just shotgunned beers for America
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
