We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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