We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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