i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
