apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
