I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
