He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
