she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
