i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
