but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
