You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
