His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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