i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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