So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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