he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
