He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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