I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
