you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
