I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
