Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
