are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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