3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
