Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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