You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
