their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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