haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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