my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
