her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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