clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
