Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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