i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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