You just made me feel so damn special
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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