someone get that fucking seahorse.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
