Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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