Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
