sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
