just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
