Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
