so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
