come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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