Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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