Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize