Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
