i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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