Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry 2uinn hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

Fav 29 8909 1332
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.

Fav 27 1769 5238
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

Fav 10 1423 4576
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

Fav 27 4791 1496
share tweet
(502): View more from Kentucky

I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.

(330): View more from Ohio

Dude what the fuck...

Fav 4 1943 821
share tweet
(347): View more from New York

In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.

Fav 5 1025 756
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning

Fav 0 679 525
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock

Fav 1 319 125
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch

Fav 0 19 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT