would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
