i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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