Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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