My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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