no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
