you would pick up someone in the library
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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