someone get that fucking seahorse.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
