Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
