someone get that fucking seahorse.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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