Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
