the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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